Our Journey

          It was six years ago that Zak and I became husband and wife. Over the years, we have not just had children, but four boys! John, our know-it-all five year old, who is as sweet as sweet can be, and completely obsessed over Pokemon. Mason, our infinitely busy three year old, who means well, but trouble tends to find him. And our twins Scott and Gavin, who want nothing more to observe the world around them and watch The Wiggles on a loop.

          I cannot lie - it was not easy convincing Zak to have a fifth! When we bought our house last spring, I was able to show him that we would have enough room to become a family of seven. After a few months of discussing the subject, he agreed. Zak is rooting for a girl, whereas I am hoping to go for a Yahtzee roll of five boys. It truly is a win-win for me - I am being blessed with a healthy child who is exceptionally wanted and loved already.

          In November 2016 I went on Clomid, hoping to announce my pregnancy over Christmas. Unfortunately, I never did get my positive pregnancy test that cycle. I had never been on Clomid and not gotten pregnant right away. I was definitely upset, but knew that we had two more chances to go on Clomid. We took a break in December as I didn't want to be due around my sister's wedding in September. I went back on in January, and could only hope that it would work.

          Before it was time to test, I noticed that I had implanted later than normal. I held onto hope that it would be alright, and my body would give my baby a fighting chance. After a few pregnancy tests, we started seeing a positive! I was so happy, but it wasn't meant to last. As the days went by, the tests never got any darker, and the doctors confirmed that I was likely having a chemical pregnancy. A chemical pregnancy can happen for various reasons, but in my case, the embryo implanted too late, and my body was already starting to get ready to start a new cycle. It simply wasn't enough time.

          I was down to one more try. Emotionally, I was drained. I had come so close to having another baby, just to have it taken away from me. Of course, I didn't have an attachment to that child, being such an early loss - but it was still a loss, and I felt it. Late February, I went back on Clomid and could only sit back, and see what life had in store for us. All month we hoped, prayed, and wished for our family to become complete. And on March 23rd 2017 we received our answer. A positive! This time, it only continued to get more define as days went on. Conception was successful at last.
         
          I feel whole, even though my baby isn't here yet. We are a family of seven - and seven is heaven. We will have enough children to have a basketball team, as many people have stated to us in the malls, but I wouldn't have it any other way. This baby is the last part to our amazing family - the sprinkles always go on last! And I will forever be surrounded by the people I love most - my children.